Best Anecdotes

Once programmer met a very nice girl. They chatted a bit, went to the cafe, got some drink… Programmer says:
- Hey, but how I will find you for the next date?
Girl wrote her phone number and gave to him. After two days programmer is looking at that number and thinking:
- It’s not the IP address, […]

The contest of the most beautiful women in the world is going on the internet. First place winner was awarded “Photoshop”.

What is the first thing you notice then you see a woman?
- Well, firstly hair, then eyes, lips, breast …
- Wow, you are so romantic.
- I am not, that’s because my internet is very bad and loads photos very slow …

Two mens are talking:
- Your son is growing so fast, what are you doing?
- I am just lifting the monitor  for 5 cm every month.

If you think you are smarter than a blone, so why aren’t you wealthier?

A fellow bought ten hazelnuts with his last money. Splits one - empty, second one - also empty, third, …. ninth. Splits the last tenth one and finds a worm inside, it says:
- It’s a shame, isn’t it?

Lady, your fingers are very long, are you playing the piano?
- Not at all, I am just washing the test-tubes.

One wealthy man is buying an old castle. He speaks with the old man, who’s looking after it.
- Tell me please, are there any ghosts in this castle?
- Probably not, because I am living here for more than eight hundreds years and never saw any ghost.

Employee is telling his chief:
- Dear chief, I really need holidays now, can’t hold it anymore…
- Holidays, holidays… What holidays??? You’ve been sitting near the open window for a whole summer!!! Forget about your holidays.

- Can you lend me this book “How to become a millionaire”?
- Sure, take it.
- But half pages are missing in it!
- So what? Half million is not enough for you?